the twist.

i think the boy who runs the corner store might just be in love with me.

he knows i love baseball and has determined (quite injudiciously) that 1. i am beautiful and 2. that these two qualities warrant his affection.

but the thing is--

my soda water (for this is what brings me to the corner store) always bubbles over explosively upon the twist of the cap.

and i can't determine if that is reason enough to marry him on the spot, or never return.

image via sabino.

first love.

i think you can fall in love by yourself.

i did.

once upon a time i loved a boy. a man.

and much as i'm loath to admit it, a part of me will always love him.

but yesterday as i was sitting on a toilet, halfway across the world, with my pants pooled around my ankles and i looked up to see a film advert with his name on it, two thoughts crossed my mind:

1. if only i'd never met him

and

2. the world is much, much too small

roots.

i found this beautiful poem written by la chrysomele reveuse's Dia and just had to share it with you all...

I woke up with a sweet pain in my left arm.

I thought the vernal sun beams mistook their way to the soul,

trying to sneak in.

But when I touched the burning skin

I felt long delicate strands protruding.

Thin strands throbbing in the rhythm of my heart.

Touching them didn't hurt,

but gave me an agonizing feeling of longing.

And I remembered that these last two days

we stood close to each other, our arms touching.

Adventitious roots are growing to reach you.

a feeling i know so well in words i wish i had written.

and on another note: i cannot thank you all enough for your kind words, insightful thoughts, unbelievably touching comments--they mean more then you may ever know. i cherish my memories. i love them all, even the bad ones. and i thank God each day for this because i can't imagine a more agonizing death than simply ceasing to feel. 

photo found here; and they found it on flickr

what if....

what if i hung my feelings like  photos on the wall just to remember 

what if i was a detective and searched my body for fingerprints and traces of your touch

what if i stopped right here, planted my feet, lifted my arms to the sky and grew leaves

what if i was a poem chasing its tail across the page

what if i disappeared into the crowd and swung from palm to palm like Tarzan through the jungle until i found a grasp that wouldn't let go

what if my legs moved on without me and i just stood right here, head over shoulder, waiting for the past to catch up

image fount at FFFFOUND!

by Stefanie Augustine

that's what she said...

"a man has to find a good woman, and when he finds her he has to win her love. then he has to earn her respect. then he has to cherish her trust. and then he has to, like, go on doing that for as long as they live. until they both die. that's what it's all about. that's the most important thing in the world. that's what a man is, yaar. a man is truly a man when he wins the love of a good woman, earns her respect, and keeps her trust. until you do that, you're not a man."

Well, technically he (Gregory David Roberts) said it in his book, Shantaram. The book is a veritable treasure trove of quotes. But this is the one that stuck with me.

Can you tell I've been thinking a lot about love lately? Must be all those peonies in my love corner.

 And  then, he (husband-to-be) will learn to love my feet. All size ten of 'em.