my mother has decreed if ever i'm to date a man again (and one can hope) that i'm not to tell him i have a blog.
i think this foolish. after all, one google search of my name and it'd be all over.
my mother thinks men don't google.
i think in this era of facebook, they most certainly do google.
i've always been honest on my blog. but i do concede that it is my version of honest--my version of a truth. and therefore half the story (and admittedly a very skewed half).
and so my question is:
where is the line between what is our's to share and what belongs to someone else, even if they are inextricably bound to our own story?
where is the line between what we would write if the person in question were never to see it and between altering our content because of said person?
and as for dating:
is one to tell the guy about the blog?
should the guy then read the blog?
and what moral imperative is there for that guy to reveal the extent to which he reads it?
because it isn't a diary. it's a public forum. as i was recently reminded. and that's true.
my mother is so funny. the other night she told me that the moment i start editing my words for a guy i lose a little bit of myself. and then chastised that i should probably not write some of the things i do in the first place. this one-sided argument (on her end) ping-ponged across these two extremes for about five minutes before i, utterly confused, disentangled by telling her i'd call tomorrow.
someone recently asked why i choose to blog. what was the original impetus. and i said, well why does a person perform a play for an audience as opposed to alone, in their room?
but that's not really an answer. so here goes: i began the blog because it held me accountable. i didn't want to present an image of a person struggling with great sadness. the blog forced me to see things in a more positive light. reminded me to take things with a grain of salt and encouraged laughter. and as i cultivated those aspects of myself in my little corner of the internet they began to spill over into my life.
but as i find happiness, as life slowly comes back, how does one balance the line between privacy and truth?