just a thought.

once upon a time not so very long ago i dated a man who should have made me very happy.

and he did.

sometimes.

but sometimes in the cool darkness of another day done i felt a low, rolling sadness.

deep and soft.

it was my friend angela who pointed out what a big thing that was. i would go on and on about all the reasons i should like him and all the reasons i was struggling in the relationship and she'd kinda look at me from out the corner of her eye and say: but you're sad when you're with him.

and that would be that.

the end of the discussion.

sometimes i wonder if that's what this city has become for me. a place i should love. a place i work hard each day to convince myself that i could love. when truth be told, the city makes me sad. a low, rolling sadness.

deep and soft.