last night's attempt at satire. (though in the cold light of a rainy morning it's not reading so funny; just keep in mind it's meant to be tongue in cheek).

there is a very real possibility that in a few weeks time i may just came face to face with an ex-boyfriend.

well, not quite boyfriend... i don't think he'd like me to use that term. 

in our short time together he went from wondering-if-i-was-the-one to making-it-very-clear-i-was-not. so the "girlfriend" stage was never reached. 

hindsight has revealed this all to be nothing short of miraculous--a very great blessing.

but this knowledge does not in any way mitigate the urge to look good (really, really good) when i see him.

i confessed this all to my mother on the phone just a few nights back. she suggested my motives were not as pure as i might suspect. perhaps, i did want more?

yes, mother, in truth i do want more. i want him cry himself to sleep with nothing but the full realization of all he missed out on. not-even-girfriend-material, ha!

my friend alex has suggested all these feelings can be lumped together under the monacher, spite. 

i am inclined to think he is right.

you see, spite has manifested itself on my face in the form of a soul-consuming cystic boil (read: zit). and to add insult to injuries, it's on the left side of my face. i mention this because my left side is far superior to the right and thus absolutely vital in the plan to make this ex-whatcha-ma-callit rue the day. 

the good news is this: my mother will be visiting just a few days after the pre-arragnged-maybe-run-in. and if there are two things that get me wanting to look my best it's a visit from my mother and the chance of seeing a guy who's broken my heart.

you see how these events coincide nicely? it means only one haircut. only one really great manicure. only one round of the torturous crest white strips. okay, okay, i kid... the strips aren't that bad. 

a condensed window of needing to look pulled-together and glamorous. a condensed window before i can return to my unkempt hair, wrinkly button-ups, and natural face of slight-dismay.

win-win, i say. win-win.



(and not to worry, i'll let you all know how it all goes down. when it does. {if it does}).