what i'm learning:


it is on those days that i am most happy--most alight with the strange elixir that is this life--on those days when i feel full and round and whole that i am most likely to feel a sadness so low and deep that i wonder if it even belongs to me--if it ever did. it's usually a look between strangers, or the gentle brush of a man's hand against his lapel that brings it on. it's always something small. or rather, it seems small. unimportant. but it is a moment of humanity. of seeing someone's humanity. which is really divinity, isn't it? and the sadness washes over me. mixes with the happiness and i know that the two things are of the same source. that they exist in tandem. not one without the other. and this seems just as it should be. and i feel so... i feel...

i just feel.